How To Enjoy Better Sex
Care should be given to the choice of bedroom and to its furnishing and equipment. If you wish, the room should be soundproof. Nothing can be more restraining, or indeed off-putting, than for a couple to be conscious of the fact that they can be overheard while having sex. In fact, many couples find it impossible to reach orgasm if they may be overheard.
(Others, however, find the prospect exciting.) Not only are sounds stimulating to the lovers themselves, they can be equally highly sexual to those who overhear them. Have the right setting - a big bed, with comfortable, luxurious sheets, high quality cotton preferably. And because you're going to want to enjoy the sight and sound of your partner, the large bed should be placed in a room warm enough to enjoy making love naked.
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Have at least one broad, long mirror fixed somewhere in the room. As many as the room will take or you can afford is an even better idea. It's fun to have one fixed to the ceiling over the bed.
Why mirrors? Because all men, and quite a lot of women, get a really good kick out of watching themselves enjoying sex. The sight of the penis sliding in and out of the vagina turns all men on, and women find it exciting to watch their man getting turned on.
Don't have sex in the dark, if possible, because the facial expressions of a turned on partner can be highly arousing. And what's more, you can see where you're going. So lighting is a really important feature of any room where you enjoy sex. At night you need a good light, but not a glaring one.
lamp on either side of the bed with shades which cut off the direct glare is a very practical arrangement. But you also need a good center light too, so you can enjoy sex in other areas of the room and see what is happening in the mirror! Daylight of course is best, so if you are not observed when you have a day-time session, let the daylight stream unimpeded into the room.
You will also need one or two other pieces of equipment. For example, a stool at least three feet long and fourteen inches wide, with a comfortably upholstered top. It should be the exact height of the mattress when it is depressed by the man lying on it on his shoulders and back, his buttocks and thighs supported by the stool.
(This stool makes it possible for you to use a restful woman on top sex position, which allows her to have both feet firmly on the floor. This in turn allows her to ride you from above which she cannot do so expertly either kneeling or squatting astride on a non-rigid base.)
You also need another stool, this time a low one, just the right height to bring the man's genital area in line with the woman's when she lies on her back with her legs dangling over the edge of the bed. Naturally, if the bed is low enough so that this alignment happens automatically when the man kneels on the floor - on a cushion - this stool is superfluous.
Unless you have fairly frequent opportunities to make love in the kitchen, or dining room, and like doing it on a chair, have a strong, comfortable chair - without arms - in the bedroom. A good supply of towels for cleaning up after sex or using beneath you while you make love will make cleaning up after sex more comfortable.
You should regard every room in the house as a potential setting for your lovemaking. No room should be barred, because different surroundings are themselves stimulating and a strong antidote to boredom. The Living Room, for example, isn't used for lovemaking half as much as it should be.
So what if man has difficulty ejaculating during sex? What does that actually signify? Is it delayed ejaculation? The answer is that it mostly depends on other factor, and on what he is doing in other areas of his life - if he is a young man, with high levels of testosterone, then he may find that delayed ejaculation is a psychological issue which comes from idiosyncratic masturbatory patterns of some form, or from deep emotional or psychological issues with sex.
If he is in his mid-life stages, then he may find that it is more about the loss of testosterone, and in the later stages of his life he may find that it is actually all about the extension of his refractory period to such an extent that he cannot any longer obtain an erection or reach the point of ejaculation within a few days of his last experience of sex.
We are all too apt to go in for sex after we have stripped, whereas in fact sex can be just as exciting (sometimes even more so) if we start making love while we've still got our clothes on, or at any rate most of them.
See to it that your living room has a comfortable sofa, or a very roomy armchair, and lots of cushions (to be placed under buttocks, to be knelt on, to rest elbows on and so on); good lighting for sex; is warm enough for lovemaking; and anything else you like.
A planned session of sex ought never to last less than one hour, preferably an hour and a half; ideally, two hours or more. There are also spontaneous sessions of sex, the ones which spring upon you without much warning. The majority of couples enjoy lovemaking on average between twelve and sixteen times a month.
At least half the time most couples do not wait for the body's chemistry to nudge them into action, but just the reverse, they nudge the body chemistry into action by planning a session of sex. Of course, you may have sex more or less often - not all couples' sex drive is the same.
Of course, it is a fact that in any relationship, sex drive goes stale of the couple become less interested after a while. That is why seduction strategies need to be constantly reinforced. A great one for women is to check out this good relationship advice for women - to be found at Sexistentialist.com. Oddly enough there is another great website on the same subject - dating tips for women - to be found here.
Fortunately, both men and women don't have to wait for their sex drives to operate. They can fuck whenever they have a mind to, as long as the man has an erection and the woman's vagina is relaxed enough for the penis to get into it with the aid of saliva if she isn't particularly aroused.
Every couple can recognize sex drive promptings when they experience them. There's a tenseness in the loins and genitals, a pleasant sensation of interior fullness which indicates that something, somewhere has got to be emptied, experienced as a gradual build-up.
This warning can come at any time of the day, and when it does you know for a certainty that within a short time you're going to be having sex. It is the inevitability of this which allows you to plan the timing of your session.
There are not many couples in the world whose sex drive rhythms coincide. So often the man will be responding to sex drive promptings, while his partner is not, and vice versa.
But this doesn't matter. Lovemaking is an equal partnership. Both have the right to initiate activities, and both have the right to expect the other to cooperate at least some of the time.
Although one partner has made up his/her mind that there must be a session of sex they make their desires known to one another by gestures and caresses, so that, when the time comes, a hint of "early bed", or a caress that indicates sex doesn't come as too great a surprise.
How long is needed for good sex? An hour and a half can frequently be found; an hour is always possible. But why so long? Simply to give each other the greatest sexual pleasure you've ever had. You can't, or at least you shouldn't try, to hurry any woman, and any woman who lets herself be hurried will not enjoy sex to the full.
Equally, a man who wishes to can certainly control his speed to orgasm. Premature ejaculation - rapid ejaculation which leaves both partners unsatisfied - does not make for good sex.
And it doesn't mean that a man's partner is not to caress him at all, or even only half-heartedly. He should be able to take all she can provide in the way of stimulation.
Ideally a man can make love to his partner, and be made love to by her, for any length of time, and though he may at times be close to ejaculation, he can always be sure he is not going to come until he gives himself permission to do so.
Ideally he can pass an hour, after a long session of fellatio and other exciting activities, with his penis in her vagina, and, what's more, keep up a constant movement, and still be able to last longer in bed.
When he is sure that he knows how to make a woman come, - click here - (and if he's not sure, he will ask her), he tells her, "I'm going to come now!" and he does in ten, fifteen, thirty seconds!
Ejaculation Control Techniques can help you become a longer lasting lover. All too-rapid ejaculators begin to thrust with buttock muscles tensed as soon as they get their penis in position.
Tensed buttock muscles have a close connection with speed to orgasm for all men; a significant part of the secret of delaying orgasm lies in relaxed pelvic and buttock muscles.
One man observed: "When I have decided I'm going to come, I can control the speed with which I ejaculate by the degree to which I clench my buttock and pelvic muscles.
Really tight equals ten seconds; not quite so tight - fifteen seconds; and a shade more relaxed still - thirty seconds." Sexologists use one word for the action of the penis, in the vagina - thrusting. But with pelvic and buttock muscles relaxed the movement can be termed "Swinging"; when these muscles are tensed, then the man is "thrusting."
Why bother to overcome premature ejaculation anyway? If you make love with the view to obtaining the most intense sensual experience, bring each other to the threshold of coming; pause till you're relaxed again; begin stimulation once more to the same point; pause again.
The more often both the woman and the man are brought to the threshold of orgasm, when you do decide at last to orgasm and/or ejaculate, the more devastating your orgasm will be. Lovemaking, therefore, can't be hurried if you want to enjoy the biggest and best orgasms.
A man can be brought to the threshold of orgasm at least six times an hour; a woman at least four times. To do this, the man must have absolute control, but when he finally does go over the edge it will all have been worth it.
The more often he reaches the ejaculatory threshold, the better his final orgasm will be when he eventually reaches it. So it is too, for the female partner.
This is why you must have time, except on those occasions where you are both so aroused that you are going to ejaculate or reach orgasm within seconds of beginning to have sex.
Scientifically speaking the ideal time for a sex session - at least from the man's point of view - is between 6 am and 8 am. Most men's daily production cycle of testosterone - the hormone that among other things makes him feel horny (sexually responsive) - is at its peak at 7 am. But you can always vary the time to keep sex fresh and exciting and match each other's preferred time.