Popular variations on sex positions 

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Most people would agree that variety is one of the great sources of interest in sex. We go to endless lengths to produce variety. It is against this background that sexual variety should also be seen. Sex - which is one of man's most intrinsic natural functions - has at least the same ability for variety built into it as does, say, eating. It's not healthy for anyone to develop a rigidly fixed attitude about it. Yet it does happen, often as a result of the existence of false but restrictive taboos, sex in some places and some times gets singled out for a disproportionately different treatment. Such a period came to its end with the passing of the sexually hypocritical Victorian/Edwardian phase of Western society.

One of the things about sex that has been sadly in need of clarity for for a long while is the question of sexual variations.

One (Wo)man's Joy Is Another (Wo)man's Variation

Before there can be a variation or deviation from the normal (what would once have been called a "perversion") there has to be a normal, and there isn't. In today's world the "normal" changes with such rapidity that sexual generalizations are questionable.

Sexual variations and preferences develop throughout life, though basic trends are often detectable, and seldom change radically. Rather, there is a tendency to try new thing and discard them, retain them for occasional use, or make them a part of the favored routine. A person's sexual preferences are highly individual. They are a basic part of the person. It is impossible wholly to love someone without regarding their sex as lovable, too. Where two individuals love and live together there are thousands of places where their differences can provide sources of friction. Part of the whole point is in overcoming, co-operating and compensating for the frictions. Nowhere is this more important than with sexual variations. Some things they will enjoy in common and do often. Other things they will do just for the enjoyment of helping each other. For example, he will give her the anal intercourse she asks for though it means nothing to him. She will suck him off although it gives her no sexual excitement. Life is, or should be, like that; the wise and thoughtful will seek out the preferences and provide them unasked for the sheer pleasure of it. Try and go along if you can willingly and helpfully, never, never, by coercion and with dragging feet. Say no if you must but realize what you are doing. An atmosphere of wantonness is a great gift....to give is to receive.

Armpit sex

Putting the penis into an armpit is a strong turn-on for some men. Shaven smooth, prickly short stubble, or bushy hair all have their fans. Perhaps the scent helps too. There are two ways. One way the penis lies in the fold of the armpit from front to back or vice versa. The other way is to kneel astride the chest and push your glans up into the armpit. She then folds her upper arm to trap it against her ribs or breast. This position provides the cock head with a surface to press against with the thrusts. Lubrication is essential.

Breast sex (titty fucking)

An even greater favorite is to fuck the breasts. If he is kneeling astride her, both can get a lot of sensation from rubbing the under surface of the penis over an erect nipple. If she is uppermost she can dangle her nipples against him. Alternatively, stroking him over the penis with her cascading hair, her tongue and her nipples, can lead on to trapping the penis between her breasts and massaging it up and down. She may be able to reach it with a tongue-tip at the upper extremity of its movement. One thing she must be careful about, as with any long-stroke working of the penis, is not to pull the foreskin too far back, especially the underneath part.

Voyeurism

Lots of people like to make love in the dark. Very nice it is too.

To lie in a warm bed covered with blankets in a cocoon of darkness is said by the psychologists to create a safe womb-like environment which nearly everyone finds comforting. But one of nature's powerful weapons of attraction is vision. To some, not seeing is almost as bad as not doing.

There are two varieties of voyeurism. The true voyeur (or voyeuse) gets the kicks from watching others make love. Whether or not you like watching others it is a first class way to learn. Best of all is to watch a really capable and experienced couple make love. It's a pity such opportunities so seldom arise. One of the few good reasons for getting involved in a group sex scene is to get involved with older, more experienced types and to listen, watch and learn.

You might have a desire to watch yourself or your partner. This is quite a different matter. It is an adjunct to one's sex life, perhaps a favored part of it; but it is not a substitute for it. Happily there is something of the voyeur in everyone. Unless there is a serious hitch, even the most demure of girls likely is to find some things appealing. So what can he do? It has to be admitted that Nature and Fashion have not been exactly liberal in distributing ways in which the undressed man (as opposed to the fully dressed one) can appear sexy. His object must be to fascinate. The very first rule of all never to be broken is - shoes and socks off first. Nothing is more macabre than a man sitting on the edge of the bed and fumbling to get shoes undone when his trousers are already down around his angles. No man with any heart would make love with his socks on-it's like sleeping in your vest or picking your nose with gloves on. There are only two things a man can take off that are the least bit sexy. If he wears a tie he can undo it slowly and unbutton his shirt. The other thing is his belt. Particularly if it is a large heavy belt, undoing it very deliberately is not without its appeal. At this stage he will often have at least a half erect penis bulging his trousers. Tilting the pelvis forwards as he unzips will draw her attention to the bulge. At the last moment he should slip trousers and pants low enough at the front to let the penis protrude. It will hold her interest long enough for him to complete the ungainly action of dropping his trousers. These should now be stepped out of or kicked aside - never picked up and neatly folded. When he is dressing afterwards assuming he is ever coming back to the same lady, he should never be careless. Don't leave her with the visual memory of you in your shirttail and socks fumbling for a shoe under the bed. The uncircumcised man might pull back the foreskin and press down at the root of the penis against the pubic bone. This sharpens the angle at which it juts out and reduces the blood flow out. So the penis assumes an even larger porportion and more aggressive appearance.

He might now put her hand on it or merely offer it to her. He might show it to her right in the face and where the scent of it - which is very erotic - can reach her. If she puts on her sexy clothes for you make a point of appreciating her efforts. Watch throughout as carefully as you can. Apart from the sexual pleasures of voyeurism, observation will reveal a dozen little clues to her like and dislikes. She may be too shy to tell you and visual reactions may be your only guide.

When it comes to voyeurism this is one game in which she dictates the majority of the play. All men like to see and it places immense sexual influence at a woman's disposal, in that a man will get very turned on by a woman whose visual efforts please him.

Sure, it can be difficult for a woman unused to "indecency" to expose herself. But it is more natural to show than to hide. The showing instinct is built-in, the hiding habit is tacked on by conditioning. Given the chance instinct will always triumph. So learn what he likes to see you in. Whether it's just your jewelry, or lingerie, or your black leather boots makes no difference.

Learn to display yourself. Don't hesitate to bend over, or lie on the bed in the position he likes. If he likes it lift your legs up and open them, open your lips and let him gaze in admiration at your juicy cunt.

One or two mirrors will give either or both partners a chance to watch if they want. Some couples get a turn-on from sharing porn, which may also offer a chance to learn, partly from the pictures and partly from seeing what your partner likes. "Show me what you like, darling, so I can do it for you" is an underused, underestimated key to sexual bliss. You might try writing each other detailed sexy letters. One couple I know exchange letters before he goes away on his business trips. Then the night before he comes home they talk on the phone if possible and tell each other exactly what they're going to do. They are in their late fifties and no wonder they're so fit and happy. An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away ... and it's much more fun than aspirins.

Oral Sex

For oral sex the penis should be clean. It should have been washed, but not too recently. Twice daily washing with ordinary soap and water is enough. This means that its natural aroma is hanging around, ready to excite the woman.....it contains powerful pheromones that have a subconscious effect. Careful scientific tests have shown that women react even in non-sexual situations, when minute penis aromas are released into the room. Things like blood pressure, respiration rate, pupil dilation, and even spontaneous uterine and vaginal contractions take place. The woman is being turned on without knowing it.

This is one of the reasons why women so quickly become accustomed to sucking the penis. The things that we call turn-ons are in effect release mechanisms. A woman may be excited by the sight and touch of the penis or by having it in her mouth; at the very least she is likely to undergo some arousal from its scent. Oral sex quickly becomes part of the couple's sexual repertoire.

The ways in which the penis can be treated by the mouth have no limit; the lips brushing it, the glans gently nibbled, the shaft stroked by the lips. The testicles can be softly sucked into the mouth singly or both together if the mouth is big enough. A woman may slide her man's glans into one cheek, or tongue it all over or force the stiffened tip of her tongue into its opening. She may suck on it, quite hard.

Some women are able to take a penis right past the mouth and into the throat. The ability to accept the penis by relaxing the throat muscles so that it can be put in to the hilt is certainly possible. It is a technique to learn slowly and patiently. The rewards are worth it and the dangers few. But he should bear one thing in mind. Something touching the back of the throat makes one gag or even vomit. That can happen when a penis touches parts of a girl's throat. She can't help it. When she retches its not because she hates his cock, but because it touched the wrong spot. Don't be too eager until you've learned how to avoid the gag reflex.

And what about ejaculating into the mouth and throat? Quite literally this time it's largely a matter of taste. Although the main constituents of semen don't alter, subtle differences of content can result from some foods eaten in the last few days. So the same man's semen may not always taste the same. Perhaps a man should taste some before he does it to her - at least he'd know something about it. Some women are not happy about sucking a man off unless they can also have his semen. They love it. Others hate it. In the latter case the penis can be withdrawn at the last moment and the ejaculation can be over her breasts, under her chin, into her hand or over her face if she is willing.....

Anal Sex

Other good websites on sex

Sexuality.org - with information on just about every aspect of sex, including the further reaches of human sexuality such as hosting erotic events, Tantra, and alternative forms of human sexuality. Unbeatable!

Salon.com For all discerning people with an interest in the social and political aspects of human sexuality

Jane's Guide Maybe the oldest website consisting of reviews of all sex-related matters on the internet - certainly one of the best. If you want to know where to find sites covering your particular interest in sex, go here.

Nerve.com An interesting on-line journal with highly literate features on all aspects of sex. Somewhat up market, catering for the cognoscenti.